It starts minutes after your child is born. Your family and friends greet your little bundle of joy with oooohs, ahhhhs, smiles and kisses. And then, like clockwork, you’re hit with…the question.
Who does your baby look like?
I’ve been hearing this question since my daughter was born 19 months ago. Here are some of the phases that accompany this age-old question.
Congratulations! Now tell me, who does your baby look like?
Everyone wants to know what the proud parents have to say. Will mom say the baby looks like dad or herself? Will dad quickly point out the features that are his and those that are hers? Expect to hear your family and friends rapidly point out baby features that come from mom AND dad. It isn’t the time to hurt anyone’s feelings…yet. You can also anticipate a cordial exchange between mama and papa. “Our baby has my nose, but she has your eyes.” The pleasantries and compliments should last for the next 3-6 months.
I remember a good number of our family members and friends telling my wife and I that our daughter is a perfect mix of the two of us. While this was nice to hear, I couldn’t help but think, “Are they just saying that to be nice?!”
The lady at the grocery store said our baby looks like me, so there!
Weeks go by and your baby’s features will become more distinct, which means that it will be easier to identify where he or she gets them from. You can’t help but be proud and, of course, agree when someone says, “Your daughter looks just like you!” Regardless of who says this, whether it’s a little old lady at the supermarket or another parent at daycare, trust me, the comment will somehow make its way home and out of your mouth as soon as possible. After all, you’ll take all the support you can get during this phase! The next few months could get a little contentious, but stand firm behind your belief in who your baby looks like.
If you ask me, I think your baby looks like…
At some point around the year mark, all those family members and friends that conveniently told you and your wife or husband that your child looks like both of you will start taking sides. If your baby looks more like your spouse, it can feel like everyone, and their mother, will go out of their way to point this out to you. It happened to me and I’m not going to lie, it hurt a little, but only because I got used to hearing that my daughter looks like me. This is definitely when you grow a little tired of the subject, especially if you’re on the losing team. Although, looking on the bright side, a compliment to your baby is usually a good thing.
I give up. You win.
With my daughter marching towards her 2nd birthday and no rest (or break for mommy and daddy) in sight, I’ve given up. It seems like 9 out of every 10 remarks now are in favor of Gabi looking more like my wife Melanie. So my wife wins this round, BUT aren’t little girls supposed to look like their moms? And I’m still convinced Gabi has some of my features. What do you think? Is my daughter the perfect mix, all mommy or all daddy?